Baby Class

Monday night, Eric and I went to a “Caring For Your Baby” class at the hospital. There must have been about 10 other couples in the class with us, and I felt like we were the youngest. Seriously, I’m 26 and I’m the youngest person having a baby? My how times have changed – I think my grandma had her first baby at 18.

Sitting in a room full of large women, it struck me how pregnancy can magnify the inner drama queen in a woman. You know what I’m talking about – the ones who are like, “oh, I can’t pull out my own chair because I’m pregnant and can’t move my arms.” They waddle around at 0.5 MPH because apparently being pregnant makes your legs unable to move any faster. Not everyone in the class was like this, but there were a few. The raging hormones in me wanted to yell out, “Yo foodawg, take that drama outside before I slap yo face!” But I didn’t say anything. I just smiled and watched as they demanded their husbands to rub their backs for the entire 2.5 hour class.

Eric and I, being the youngest in the class, were cracking jokes and laughing the whole time. At one point, his face turned bright red in silent laughter after the instructor said, “Outside of the womb, make shushing noises to calm your baby – this reminds them of the comforting, gurgling, digestive sounds it heard while in the womb.” Eric turned to me and said, “I’m sure the baby does NOT want to remember YOUR digestive sounds! Those are sounds the baby probably wants to forget!” – and then he cracked up at his own joke for about 5 minutes. Gee, thanks. Go ahead and make fun of my healthy intestines.

We had to practice diapering, burping and bathing a fake baby. Here is Eric folding a blanket for the perfect swaddle.

I mostly watched, and Eric practiced. It was fun. At the end of class, a front-row couple asked if the instructor could demonstrate how to change the baby’s clothes. I’ve been changing my own clothes now for about 25 years, so I’m pretty sure I can figure this one out. But the instructor had us practice how to take one arm out at a time and then pull a shirt over the head. And then you put the pants on just like everyone else – one leg at a time. “Ahh, I get it now, one…leg…at…a…time!” So glad we practiced that. My poor baby might have been pant-less!!

Here is a pic of our practice baby. It was a girl. She wants to be a waitress when she grows up.

 

This was an informative class overall and I did learn a lot about feeding, napping, crying and making schedule charts. I’d definitley encourage all first-time parents to take a baby class – just make sure to close your eyes when they show pictures of the umbiclical cord stump.

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