Drafty anyone?

Sometimes, I feel a draft across my lower belly.

I look down to check, and this is what I see.

Looks fully covered from way up here.

But then why do I feel a draft?

(Any why do my feet look freakishly small?)

So while scratching my belly like an orangotane, I ask my friends, “Do I look like a red-neck?” – You know, where your beer belly hangs out the bottom of your ketchup stained wife-beater.

(Side Note: I’ve always thought I’d make a good red-neck. I love being in the country, listening to country music, and would love to drive an extra-large truck with 3 dogs howling in the back. Minus the whole killing deer and being barefoot in Wal-Mart, I think I’d be pretty awesome at it)

“No”, they say, like good friends do. “Your belly looks so cute! You do not look fat.”

I smile and am momentarily comforted. But deep down inside, I know they lie. I can see it in their eyes.

So I stretch out my midget arms to capture this frightening image.

 

Note to self: buy longer shirts and get a spray tan.

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4 thoughts on “Drafty anyone?

  1. bahahaha! I think you would make a wonderful redneck 🙂 I hope to see you on People Of Walmart.com some day. And yes, you do look cute!

  2. you are so funny! I think I may have been one of those friends that told you, you looked cute the day you wore that striped shirt. I wasn’t lieing either…you can get away with things that most cannot! You are just too stinkin cute!

  3. hahahahahaha! I can totally relate! Put on a tank top this morning and it didn’t reach the top of my shorts anymore. Stephen and I laughed, and then he said, “You need to read Melissa’s blog this morning.” perfect 😉

    • I have that same striped tank and love it! It’s really long on me right now, but I’ll have to save it for pregnancy 😉 Hope you guys are doing well!

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