Neighbors behind us: Bob & Josie.

They are a sweet couple from Florida who moved up to charming Greenville to spend their retirement days. They were previously accountants – so Eric is one of their favorite people ever. They call us “their kids”. Josie frequently sends over covered dishes for dinner. She’s brought over stew, homemade pasta and meatballs and half-a-dozen different kinds of soup. We enjoy going over to chat with them on their nice, covered back porch. They are lovely.

Neighbor next door (left): Keith.

He’s a single dude who is quite possibly the greatest Kenny Chesnee fan in the South. He drives a yellow Hummer and is a friendly, good old Southern boy. I know that when I see the 6 foot, inflatable Corona bottle in his front yard – it means he’ll be throwing a party very soon.

Neighbor next door (right): Don’t know his name.

I say “hi” to him every week. This is the extent of our conversations. One day, I’ll chat longer with him, be nosy, and find out his story. His tree fell on our fence.

Neighbor across the street: Suzanne.

She has the nicest yard on the street, and she spends hours working on it. Dedication. Her dog is cute and likes to bark at Mya – while she stares back at him like he’s speaking a foreign language – “what is this sound you make?” Mya is a mute.

Neighbors in the bird house right outside my bedroom window: The Brown Bird Family.

They recently moved into this cute bird house my father-in-law made for me (notice the Colorado license plate).

The previous family who lived here was silent. They laid their eggs, raised their babies, and moved out after the kids left. I assume they went to retire in a tropical climate. They were a lovely family and great tenants.

However, this new family is not as silent. I think it’s a single mom because the dad is never around. She leaves the house around 5:30AM to go to work (she works as a worm digger in our front yard).

The whole time she’s gone, her babies cry. And I mean, their little, shrill, screechy cry is just so unbearable at 5:30AM. It’s not a pretty bird song – no. It’s a horrified, screeching, “mom come back right now because I’m hungry and I think I’m going to die” sort of cry. While mom is at work in the front yard, she hears her babies calling to her. She yells back at them, “I wish you kids would just be quiet and let me work! How am I supposed to get anything done around here?!” – This makes for 3 shrill bird cries – all starting at 5:30AM. This banter goes on all morning. ALL MORNING. Usually they settle down some after mom gets back from work. Some evenings they’re quiet, but most evenings they’re loud.

As the landlord of their property, I’ve considered forcing them to move out. But I just don’t have the heart to do that to a single working mom. The babies are still young, so it could be a while before they grow up and move out. And who knows if they’ll even want to move out – they may just stay at home their whole lives and expect mom to take care of them forever!

I’m not sure what to do about The Brown Bird Family. They wake me up early, disrupt my sleep, and their family dysfunction is causing neighborhood disturbance. I’m hoping they can quickly learn some manners.

Otherwise I might just have to…. have to… move their house to the other side of the porch so I don’t hear them in the mornings.

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